The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, browse this site we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and closeness .

But when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be Click This Link there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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