The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, closeness, love, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that many of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay men desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- you could try these out while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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