The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing basics powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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