The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

But when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't check this going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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